Hikaru no Go: Kami no Itte
by iammemyself
Summary: "Kami no itte" refers to a move that is so unexpected, so brilliant and so creative that it seems like it would be a move only god can make, changing the flow of the game completely with a single move."


Hikaru no Go: Kami no Itte

Indiana

**Characters: Fujiwara no Sai, Shindou Hikaru**

The question was why.

It had been the question during his fall from grace in front of the Emperor. It had been the question when he had met Torajirou, had been the question when he'd heard the last words whispered with Torajirou's last breath of air, had been the question when he came upon the boy with the very strange hair… and it was still the question now, with the faded stain oddly sharp in his mind and that weakening feeling inside his soul.

Why? Why now? Was it his punishment for failing in the match against Touya Meijin? Was that the reason? Because he had been so arrogant to assume that, just because the Meijin had not seen the move, it did not exist? That was what he had returned a second time for, wasn't it? To face players with skills and mindsets that did not exist in the past, and to achieve his goal through secret matches with them?

It seemed not.

Hikaru had noticed the fading stain as well, though he had recanted that thought as a figment of his imagination and continued on his way. He had tried to tell the boy then, but was not very surprised when Hikaru did not listen. It was an odd place to say an odd thing that he was certain Hikaru had never considered. No, not surprising in the least, considering Sai himself had not considered it until recently. Not in all the time with Torajirou had _he_ done so, after all, nor, he was sure, had Torajirou. But now it was happening, and he did not want to think about it, let alone consider how to make Hikaru understand. He was being unfair, he knew, to not tell Hikaru the truth when he asked. But he did not know what to say.

It was sometime during the rather disheartening game that he came upon his answer.

It wasn't disheartening because he played badly; it was disheartening because he knew more than ever that the fading of his self was real, and it was not pleasant to think that his final match was against a drunk man who was probably having trouble seeing the shapes on the board in front of him. In another time, on another day, Sai would have been elated to play him, but now… now he was wishing they had just left. To have his final game have been the one against Touya Koyou, the closest to a rival Sai would have in this latest realisation of his existence… this win was unsatisfying and almost sad, in a way, and during the time the two of them made their way home he decided on what he was going to do. It would not be long, and so the time to do something was at hand.

As he looked at the drowsy Hikaru from across the board, he affirmed to himself what he had been considering as of late:

That he had been entirely wrong about why.

He had thought the answer was that he was meant to one day achieve _kami no itte_, the Divine Move, and he would be allowed to play until he did so. But perhaps _kami no itte_ was not quite what he'd thought it was.

Perhaps it wasn't a move he was meant to make. Perhaps he _was_ meant to achieve _kami no itte_, but not on the Go board. That was what he had always thought it had meant, but…

Perhaps he had already achieved it, and it had taken him this long to see.

Hikaru.

Hikaru, who had never played a game of Go before Sai had met him. Hikaru, who had thrown himself into the game with all the dedication of someone who had played all his life. Hikaru, who had changed many, many paths among the people he had met on his own journey.

Hikaru, who had seen what both Sai and Touya Koyou had not.

In the end, Sai was still unable to tell him. He was still unable to make Hikaru understand that yes, there was an end, that yes, he would have to make the rest of his journey without Sai's guidance, that yes, he really did have to go. And though it saddened him both to not have played _kami no itte_ himself and to not truly say goodbye to Hikaru, he felt a great peace in his heart when he looked back upon all that they had achieved together.

Yes, he could be sure that he had changed the flow of the game completely. Hikaru would be upset and confused when he realised that Sai had gone, but perhaps there was a reason Sai had not truly been able to tell him. Perhaps it was something Hikaru had to work out on his own. And when he did, Sai would leave him with one last reminder, a symbol that would tell Hikaru that Sai would never truly be gone. That he would live inside of every board he played on, inside of the smooth stones and inside of the determination of Hikaru's eyes, driving him to achieve his own _kami no itte_, whatever that would be.

Out of all the thousands of boards he had faced, he never would have imagined that guiding this young boy was the greatest move he would ever make.

**Author's note**

**So I watched Hikaru no Go in Japanese with English subtitles recently. 10/10 would recommend. The production value alone makes this show worth watching. This is my interpretation of how it ended.**

**_Kami no itte _****is referred to in the English subs as the Divine Move or the Hand of God; according to a website that I cannot link because will destroy it, **"Kami no itte" refers to a move that is so unexpected, so brilliant and so creative that it seems like it would be a move only god can make, changing the flow of the game completely with a single move." **Well, training a lazy, unmotivated boy to become a superstar Go player who motivates a huge chunk of people in the space of two years seems pretty unexpected, brilliant, and creative to me.**


End file.
